Cranked Up

Watched Crank last night and friggin' loved it.

Now, I enjoy Jason Statham's Transporter flicks, for all their faults, because the guy is pretty much the only screen action hero tough-guy right now that I actually believe is tough. For all I know, he may be a big ol' pansy in real life, knitting doilies and playing with kittens, but in his movies, I genuinely buy him as a badass. There aren't many guys like that around anymore. Most of today's leading actors just don't possess whatever it is that makes for a convincing hardcase. Eastwood, Bronson, Marvin... those guys had it... and Statham does, too.

I'm not going to go into a long review of Crank here; frankly the movie doesn't need or deserve one. It's just an extended video-game – an ultraviolent, hard-R cartoon that I can best describe as D.O.A. meets Run, Lola, Run meets a Chuck Jones or Friz Freleng Road Runner short. It's got tons of gratuitious violence and sex, and it's utterly without redeeming value... except that it's also funny as hell – intentionally so – and it was the humor more than anything else that won me over.

And the funniest thing is that the DVD comes with a "family friendly" audio option that removes all the swear words. A feature which – considering all the film's gory violence, constant drug use, explicit public sex, on-screen blowjobs and scenes of Statham running around the city in a hospital gown, bareassed and sporting wood – just cracks me up.

Good stuff.